EP–PH-FL.39

ROSE ALEXIS

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Spaz - Content 04
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FOR EDDIE AND GRANDMA

A lot of the times I wonder to myself, what God
would allow this type of pain to exist?
Or was there something during bible study that I missed?
I lost my cousin and grandmother in August of 2023, both in one week
And a part of me died with them while my anxiety and depression reached its peak
They never tell you that you also grief who you were before the tragic change
They don’t tell you, you’ll still have an image to maintain
Or that it'll feel like you’re losing everything while
people still look to you to entertain
They don’t tell you that this is the break or make you part of your life
Not just because you lost someone you love but that you’ll lose friendships and people you use to put above
They don’t tell you it’ll feel like the end is near
And that the people you thought would be there for you really don’t care
It’s truly one of those unbelievable moments in your life you’ll never get to shake
So I decided to transform these feelings to see what I can make
I cried for a year,
you would of thought God created this lake
I was even so confused with life I use to question if I was awake
They don’t tell you that this feels worst than a concussion
They don’t tell you that the realization of never seeing your love
ones will be your daily consumption
I would trade it all just to give them a hug and a kiss
I would scream at the top of my lungs if that meant I can get a moment of bliss
I would of never thought that life could be like this.....
But it is
And it’s been a battle accepting things for what they are
Even the thought of moving forward still seems so bizarre
Like where do you put all this love for someone you don’t get to be with?
I’ve even wondered if happiness in my life will ever be a good fit?
And despite what it looks like I would climb mountains if that meant God would whisper to me to never quit
I’ve begged for signs out this hell pit
And he finally spoke
“heal that rage and CREATE”
He showed me even at I’m at my lowest I will still be great
And even though I sometimes rather dive into a black hole and fall apart
I know I will find myself again and til then I’ll turn this grief into art.
And through all these happy memories of my beloved ones I’ve kept
I’ve turned my dead flowers into nails to remind y’all that there’s beauty in death

ROSE ALEXIS,

Rose Alexis is a Haitian photographer, creative director, stylist, model, and casting director based in Miami. With five years of experience, she brings her visions to life through carefully crafted projects inspired by her lived experiences and dreams. Her work tells stories that are both personal and expansive.
She has collaborated with brands and platforms such as PhotoVogue, I Am Other, Sprayground, Dolce & Gabbana, and Puma, and her work is part of the permanent collection at the Brooklyn Museum. Committed to uplifting Black and brown communities, she centers those often overlooked by both society and the creative industry.
Through her practice, Alexis is building space for her peers and paving the way for the next generation of Black and Haitian creatives—showing that it’s not only possible to break through barriers, but to thrive while doing so.